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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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He had barely seen her coming until it was too late and there was no chance for him to turn around and avoid her. The mere sight of Katniss still stirred uncomfortable feelings he had no idea how to control, an unorganized pile of emotions he didn't know were real or not.

At least the instantaneous urge to wrap his fingers around her throat until she stopped breathing was no longer as... severe.

Hearing his name made him stumble slightly to a stop however, an uncomfortable shift in the air around him that wasn't helping much with the whole underground situation.

"Somehow I'm not surprised you'd be here."

The guard clearly was not comfortable with this situation. Katniss didn't blame him. Neither of them were very comfortable with it either.

She had vowed to take a moment before she said anything to him. To consider it deeply. Already the urge to abandon that was climbing up her throat.

Start small.

"I wanted to tell you the cake was beautiful."

Well, that was definitely not what he had been expecting to hear from her. Then again, Peeta wasn't sure what to hear from Katniss anymore. From this... mutt. Or was she an ally? A victor. A...

Oh, and there his mind went again, listing off all the different identities she held, none of them feeling real to him.

His fists clenched up and let his wrists press into the harsh metal of the cuffs always clamped on him now, and he tried to remember to breathe.

"I... er, thanks. I'm glad they let me do it. It felt..." he trailed off, not sure how to end that sentence.

"Right?"

It had felt right for her. Right for him to be doing something sweet and beautiful, even in this retched place.

Still, they had gotten a few lines into a real conversation, and she was still breathing fine, so this was good.

"Yeah... something like that." It had been therapeutic in a way. His head had felt clearer, less crazy.

The fact that they were exchanging words calmly and without a fight felt crazy itself though and he had to wonder how long it would last. He'd be the first to crumble, wouldn't he?

She felt the edges of her lips curling up, despite herself. Because...it felt good to talk with Peeta. Better than she realized. She had put him in the box of 'lost cause' and written him off...and although there was bound to be a lot of guilt when she sat down and sorted through these things, for now it was just good to be talking with him.

It was hard to stop herself from moving forward, from trying to pretend there was nothing wrong and thing would be fine.

"I'm glad. It looked beautiful."

Had she already said that?

"You... just said that," he said with the smallest hint of a smile himself, a part of the "old" Peeta that lingered behind the hard exterior he had never wanted.

He was too focused on her to notice his guard still watching them disapprovingly, trained and ready to do his job if either of them made any sudden moves.

Yeah. Yeah she though she might have just said that. But between her lingering head trauma and the fact that she hadn't seen that smile in ages, her thoughts were slipping away faster than normal.

She took another deep breath.

"Well, it was. I was really impressed. And it tasted great. Did you...get some?"

"Yeah, not too bad for a wedding cake made down here." Where food was regulated so strictly and didn't always taste very appetizing. Even Peeta had been surprised they allowed the wedding to have a cake.

Oh this small talk... it was awkward wasn't it?

Katniss, on the other hand, was just glad they were making any talk, small or not. She didn't know if her heart could handle the mixture of fear and joy pounding through it right now.

"Yeah. You couldn't even tell you didn't have everything. I mean, I assume you didn't...they don't have anything here."

"I should probably keep it a secret, just in case..."

He was teasing, but that simple act of friendliness was already starting to make his head pound. It was with that comment that images forced into his mind flashed across his eyes and his temple began to throb, making him wince and press his palms against his forehead. You're not supposed to be chatting her up, you're supposed to hate her.

Before she could think about it, she took a step back. And the guard took a step forward. And that quickly Peeta went from tentative friend back to taunt enemy.

She felt guilt crash over her, but the movement was already made. She'd put self preservation above everything else.

"Peeta..."

"I'm fine!" He snapped, hands balling into fists before they fell to his sides again, still bound.

He could sense the guard about to suggest they leave, the movement made by Katniss not going unnoticed. The conflicting feelings and sudden headache were more than enough to further his frustration, doing everything he could not to physically lash out.

"I know you're fine." She lied, keeping her voice pitched low, soft. And moving forward again, even though everything in her said to do the exact opposite.

It was like trying to approach a wounded animal. Except usually Katniss just shot those. And that flippant though sent cold finger down her spine.

Because really, it wasn't much of a line between that, and snow putting Peeta down. That thought gave her the courage to move closer.

His hands were still balled up tight, fingernails digging into his palms painfully but he wouldn't stop. At least he knew that pain was real.

Why was she approaching him still, even after he was clearly not okay?

He licked his lips quickly and eyes moved side to side skittishly, anxious. He had been doing too well for it to last, and the soft tone of her voice felt deceiving.

"Don't. You're not... You can't help me."

"I can't abandon you, either. Not," Her voice faltered, but she held her ground. "Not after all we've been through together."

Her own hands clenched into balls, as she realized she was shaking. And fighting herself. But not going. Not leaving him.

"I won't do that."

All we've been through together. There were so many memories he had forgotten, not knowing what exactly she was referring to. You mean when you killed my family? All of those victims in District 12? The destructive, shiny thoughts were taking over again and his brows furrowed, shaking his head.

"If this is some kind of plan to get on my good side and betray me later, it isn't going to work. I know how you play these games."

The whole cake bit, chatting him up... of course it wasn't genuine. It couldn't be.

There was a crack, a crumpling of her face before she managed to catch it. Before she let all of that show on her face, open and for Peeta and the guard to see.

Still, this was too much, and her bravery had shattered, and her head hurt, and she couldn't find enough way to tell him he was wrong.Or the right way. The way that would unlock everything and give her her Peeta back.

"No...no, it's not."

Brilliant argument there.

His breathing had become slightly more labored and his head was pounding to the point of disorientation. He felt like he was going to faint any minute. The kindness in her voice, the concern, all of it was too much. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

Before he could speak another word, the guard had a grip on his arm and was trying to take him back to his room. Clearly this was building up into too much to happen in public between the two of them. Coin wouldn't approve, especially if he launched himself at their precious Mockingjay again. Peeta hardly struggled, though his hardened gaze remained on Katniss, flickering between hate and confusion.

It took everything she had to stand her ground. Following wasn't an option.

So she watched them drag him away again. Unsure whether she had done him and good or...just made things worse.

She had a feeling it was the latter.

((Bed now, but we can skip to the next scene tomorrow ish? Also ha ha I was like "Screw game tags I am tagging katniss and peeta only aaaall night
"))

He didn't look away from her until his vision grew blurry and out of focus from the onslaught of headaches. He had to close his eyes as the guard took him all the way back to his room. So much for a bit of freedom.

[[aiodhasiodha *blushing~* ♥ I also figured Coin would want her to talk to him in a more contained area after that, thus somehow forcing them together again. Or wherever the flow takes us fff.]]

Katniss had no idea what this "special" training was, but she hadn't enjoyed the glint in Coin's eyes when she was assigning it.

It was way too familiar for comfort. First time Coin had reminded her of a snake.

The soldiers lead her down. Way down. Down where her prep team had been kept, at least, maybe deeper. A wall, what she thought was a wall, suddenly opened before them into a dark, large area. Before she could open her mouth to ask anything, she was shoved forward, stumbling to her knees, and the door hiss closed behind her.

"What the hell..." She looked up, eyes trying to adjust to the dim light after the stark white of the hallway.

Peeta had been here for at least an hour already, completely alone. The darkness and eerie silence had left him shaking and curled up in a ball against a wall, memories of being tortured surfacing in small snippets. His hands were still in cuffs yet the guards who brought him here had done nothing else to bind him, simply telling him to wait.

Like he could do anything else.

His palms were pressed to his eyes when the wall opened and the brightest light he had not seen for a full hour shone inside the room. It was gone in a second though and he immediately recognized the voice of the person who now joined him. Why her?

"You..." he breathed out lowly, looking up at her from his place against the far wall. "Why are you here?"

Edited 2012-06-06 17:25 (UTC)

Oh.

Well, this was exactly the best plan of action ever. What the hell kind of training was this suppose to be? Peeta wanted to kill her, she wanted...well, she didn't know what she wanted.

But it wasn't this.

Scooting back against the wall, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to adjust to the dim light, and keep calm, and hope Peeta was calm enough that this 10 seconds of adjusting wouldn't get her killed.

"Peeta." She swallowed, trying to keep down her heart rate, keep calm. "I...I don't know why I'm here."

He began to stand, using the wall as support as he slid up it on his side, eyes forever trained on her. He fluctuated between trusting her and not just as much as she did at this point.

"Was it Coin? She put me here without explanation."

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That icon was ridiculously inappropriate

I lol'd hard, not gonna lie. I don't have any appropriate ones myself fff.

she is like "Dude get OUT!" all valley girl.

I can never unsee this now

bwa ha

sobs

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~a few days later.

Re: ~a few days later.

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