(no subject)

[bakersson]

Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

Comments

[inciting]

They ate in silence, Katniss turning over just about every problem in her head but the one involving Peeta being hijacked into the Capitol and returned a twisted up shell of his former self.

Because she didn't really know what to do with that one.

"Maybe we're being kept prisoner."

[bakersson]

Even though it wasn't the tastiest food (which was actually worse cold) he was grateful for the feeling of fullness in his stomach. Food was making him a little less delirious, a little less confused with his surroundings.

"When do you think they'll let us go?"

[inciting]

"What if they don't?"

As soon as she said it, she sorta wished she hadn't. Looking up, she watched Peeta's reaction warily.

Still, it was a terrifying thought. But maybe something they should be considering.

wow I never realized I forgot to tag this :|

[bakersson]

His jaw tensed up at the question, thoughts of being stuck in here forever threatening to drive him crazy. He did his best to relax though, closing his eyes. It was so dark.

"They won't... I-I mean they will. They'll let us out. They have to. Someone would do something... Your family is still here."

there is the other one too bb <3

[inciting]

She just nodded, but her mind was reeling, tripping over it's self to try to make sense of this new idea. Could Coin justify it? She was sure she could. In fact, depending on how she spun it, Katniss's own deal with her could have them locked up down here.

But would she?

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she watched Peeta, before giving a shrug.

I tagged that :<

[bakersson]

"There has to be a way," he was almost sounding like his old self in that determination, though it stemmed from the feeling of not wanting to die. Not like this, anyway. It was no one's right to take his life but his own.

He drank down some of his water, eyes steely as they searched around the room again, knowing they were watching. He hoped Haymitch felt guilty. Hoped it was killing him inside.

my computer must just be being a butthole and eating tags.

[inciting]

She shrugged. She wasn't going to disillusion him. But now, in her gut, that fear was growing. She had managed to plant that little seed, and it wasn't going to be shaken so easily.

"At least he have good company." She said softly, not meaning it too come out to snarky. Or too sincere. She didn't actually know how she wanted it to come out.

:(

[bakersson]

Nervous hands came up to rest against his mouth, thinking. It had already been proven that they couldn't escape without the door opening from the outside. Did they have no choice but to sit here and deal with it? To let other people rule their lives for however much longer they had? Peeta didn't want to go out like this. He didn't want to be this... stranger for the rest of his life.

Once his tray of food was empty, he stood up again, feeling restless as he began to pace back and forth aimlessly. There was still a dull throb against his wrists where she had bandaged them but it was a nice, itchy feeling that helped keep his mind focused.

[inciting]

Sitting back against the wall, she watched him pace.

How long has they been down here? One meal, one session of sleeping. No more than 24 hours then. And already they had gone through a lot.

And how long would they be down here now?

Should she keep pushing? Or let him be?If they could separate, this would be easier. But now?

She started to hum softly, picking at the cuffs of her sleeve.

[bakersson]

Peeta slowed down in his pacing when he heard Katniss' voice, something inside of him warming. Although he was nearly across the room again he stopped in place, closing his eyes. The melodic tune of her voice was so familiar and brought back feelings he could not quite place in his current state, wrapped up in everything ugly that had been forced into his mind.

But this wasn't...

[inciting]

She didn't notice the change at first. The humming was meditative, grounding, and it took a moment for her to realize he was caught in it to.

Slowly, cautiously, she began to actually sing. Nothing with words, just a slow, soft melody.

[bakersson]

Her voice was nice and familiar. The dull throb in his wrists could even be ignored right now, despite the pain being something he relied on. She knew what to do without even realizing it.

His eyes were still shut as he listened, breathing calming. He could probably fall asleep to the sound of her voice but, well, he was standing.

He'd just stay like this for now, fingers relaxing, his entire body relaxing.

[inciting]

The change was so intense, she was worried that some how she was doing something wrong.

But she kept singing. Because she hadn't seen him this calm in...a very long time.

One wordless song, and then another. They had words, but she was worried the words would twist away from her, take on meaning for him, meanings she didn't want.

[bakersson]

It took a long time for Peeta to snap out of it, though when he did it wasn't anything harsh or unwanted. His eyes opened slowly and he stared at nothing in particular in the dim light of the room.

It took another few moments before he acknowledged Katniss again, running a hand through his hair before murmuring something under his breath that may or may not have sounded like an apology.

[inciting]

Slowly, carefully, not wanting to interrupt the calm that her singing had caused, she went to sink down next to him. Not entirely sure what he had mumbled, a nod seemed like the best response.

"Do you want me to keep singing?" She finally asked softly.

[bakersson]

The offer struck him as something good and warm and he simply nodded, unable to look at her directly. Even though the memories were confusing, he liked her singing. Her voice was comforting despite what they were going through.

[inciting]

She sat there next to him, leaning back against the wall and letting her eyes fall closed as she sang, soft and slow.

One song blended into another, and when she lost the words she continued singing wordlessly, the melody carrying through. Without thinking about it her hand moved to find his in the darkness.

[bakersson]

The touch came as a surprise, so much so that he nearly jumped from it, but the soft melody had relaxed him enough not to lash out as hostile as he knew he could. He let her hold his hand, turning to look at her despite how dim the light in the one room was. His own fingers didn't curl into hers until a minute later, looking down at them.

[inciting]

Realizing what she had done when she felt him tense, she let him take his time to react, not rushing things. Not pushing them. He had to do this all on his own time, no matter how much she wanted it to go faster.

Her mood mixed into the singing. Sad songs. Longing songs.

[bakersson]

After a long time, Peeta's eyes looked over to one of the hidden cameras, staring into it. He had no idea how much time had passed or how they could even measure it in this bland room, but he knew they were still being watched. They were always being watched.

"Are you sad?"

He asked quietly, still watching the camera but clearly speaking to Katniss.

[inciting]

She started a little, not expecting his voice. And especially not expecting it to ask something so suddenly cutting to the point.

"...I think I'm to tired to be sad anymore."

There was sadness, and anger, and deep hurt. Nightmares that didn't go away when she woke up. But more than that she was tired, frustrated.

[bakersson]

"Yeah..." he agreed slowly, taking her words into consideration. "I know what you mean."

They had both been hurt and damaged in various ways by now and Peeta still wasn't sure how locking them up in here would help their mental health at all.

[inciting]

"I...." She swallowed, looking down at their hands. And then closing her eyes and feeling the texture, the roughness. Baking, burns from ovens, nicks from knives, rough from paint brushes...but that's not all, and she can't pretend it is.

"Do you think there's a point where people just can't take anymore?"

[bakersson]

The implication of her question hit him hard and he immediately understood what she was trying to say. It only made him frown more and want to recoil back into himself, yet the way she was still holding onto his hand stopped him. There was an odd pang in his chest at the mere thought of her taking her life, realizing it must have been the part of Peeta that once loved her.

"Yeah," he said simply, a bit of silence passing before he continued. "I think it happens more than we know or realize."

[inciting]

Her mind hadn't yet wrapped around the endgame of that thought process. So bent on survival, the idea of working against it was a hard one for Katniss to process in anything but a theoretical sense.

But eventually your knot frayed, and you couldn't tie it anymore. And then what?

"I'm so tired of all of this. I just wanted-" She laughed, suddenly, a small, tight laugh. "I just wanted to protect people."