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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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He almost felt like a scolded child who had done badly at a task, following her with his head lowered and his spirit a bit deflated. They would get out of here eventually but when? And on whose terms?

Sitting beside her with the food again, he popped a bit of the stale bread into his mouth before begrudgingly holding his wrists out for her.

It was clear that his wrists had been taking this damage long term. And that she wasn't the first person to attend to them.

The ruts in his wrist were deep, painfully red and raw. Even in this dim light she could see how badly they were torn up. She felt her stomach lurch as she saw white within the mass of red. It wasn't the first time she'd seen Peeta's bones, but she hoped it was the last.

"This is going to burn..." She said as she gently moved the handcuffs up as high as they would go on his arms.

Peeta was unaware of how bad it had gotten. All he knew was when he rubbed them against the metal it felt like a relief, the pain spreading signals to his mind that this was real. He hadn't thought of the consequences beyond instant gratification.

His muscles were tense from her touch and knowing what was about to come, yet he shrugged.

"Just do it..."

Taking the anesthetic, she soaked a cotton ball and began to dab and the wound, gently cleaning away blood and pus. And again. And again. Luckily they had brought her plenty, and she pressed her lips together to keep the cold food from coming back up.

Peeta's leg. Gale's back. More and more and more injuries. She knew this wasn't much, in comparison, but it brought all that back.

The pain is indescribably intense and he has to bite back a cry so much that he bites into his cheek instead, fists shaking. He didn't dare look at what was actually being done, head hanging as he dealt with it the best he could, despite the need to flinch away clawing at him.

And okay, there were a couple hissed curses there. It hurt.

The urge to move faster to end this quickly was hard to fight. But she didn't want to hurt him more than needed.

Finally the wounds were clean, and she picked up the antibiotic ointment, spreading it liberally around the wounds. There was small hope it would be what they had gotten in the arena, but even if 13 had that, she doubted they would spare it on someone wounding themselves.

Plus, if it healed him, Peeta would lose the pain.

"Almost done, let me just wrap them."

A bit of sweat had formed on his brow from how badly he was holding in his screams, but the ointment helped ease off the intense pain. He knew after she wrapped his wrists that it would be harder to use this method on such tender skin, the healing process only getting in the way of how numbing the routine scratching had been, but he also knew that was what she wanted. He knew it was bad to hurt himself... but it was all he had to rely on for so long.

He simply nodded at her words, giving up on the fight for now. He was weaker than he thought.

Quickly, she wrapped each wrist firmly in light gauze. She left it thin enough so that he could feel the bite of the cuffs through the cotton.

Just thick enough he wouldn't get them infected.

They could make the wounds better late. Add them to the list of wounds they needed to make better.

As she was wrapping them he looked up to her, a pinch of guilt there for making her have to take care of him like this.

"Thanks..."

"You're welcome..."

Without thinking, without giving herself time to talk herself out of it, or him time to pull back, she ducked her head down. Quickly, feather light, she brushed a kiss over the light bandaging on each wrist.

Those kisses were definitely unexpected and the act made his body tense up once more, unsure. Neither of them had any true concept of how much time had passed since they had been thrown in here, but it couldn't have been longer than a couple days, yet already she was warming up to him enough to get close. Maybe that's what they expected of this, despite the cruel method, and Peeta wasn't exactly lashing out at her as he normally felt like doing. The warm feeling spread to his chest though and he wasn't sure what to make of it, instead staring at her with a perplexed look.

"Sorry." She mumbled, letting his hands drop and sitting back on her haunches.

Maybe the idea of trapping them here together wasn't the worst. It was at least messing with her head enough. Being face to face with Peeta it was so much harder to write him off as a lost cause, to pretend there was no chance to save him.

He wasn't sure what to say, for once. The feeling had a familiar warmth to it that made him happy yet confused at once, wondering just how deep his feelings for her had once run... and how much hers still did for him.

The protesting grumbling of his stomach was a pleasant distraction, the throbbing pain in his wrists dulled down from the ointment now as he finally began to eat. The food was definitely cold by now but... well... that was his own fault.

They ate in silence, Katniss turning over just about every problem in her head but the one involving Peeta being hijacked into the Capitol and returned a twisted up shell of his former self.

Because she didn't really know what to do with that one.

"Maybe we're being kept prisoner."

Even though it wasn't the tastiest food (which was actually worse cold) he was grateful for the feeling of fullness in his stomach. Food was making him a little less delirious, a little less confused with his surroundings.

"When do you think they'll let us go?"

"What if they don't?"

As soon as she said it, she sorta wished she hadn't. Looking up, she watched Peeta's reaction warily.

Still, it was a terrifying thought. But maybe something they should be considering.

His jaw tensed up at the question, thoughts of being stuck in here forever threatening to drive him crazy. He did his best to relax though, closing his eyes. It was so dark.

"They won't... I-I mean they will. They'll let us out. They have to. Someone would do something... Your family is still here."

She just nodded, but her mind was reeling, tripping over it's self to try to make sense of this new idea. Could Coin justify it? She was sure she could. In fact, depending on how she spun it, Katniss's own deal with her could have them locked up down here.

But would she?

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she watched Peeta, before giving a shrug.

"There has to be a way," he was almost sounding like his old self in that determination, though it stemmed from the feeling of not wanting to die. Not like this, anyway. It was no one's right to take his life but his own.

He drank down some of his water, eyes steely as they searched around the room again, knowing they were watching. He hoped Haymitch felt guilty. Hoped it was killing him inside.

She shrugged. She wasn't going to disillusion him. But now, in her gut, that fear was growing. She had managed to plant that little seed, and it wasn't going to be shaken so easily.

"At least he have good company." She said softly, not meaning it too come out to snarky. Or too sincere. She didn't actually know how she wanted it to come out.

Nervous hands came up to rest against his mouth, thinking. It had already been proven that they couldn't escape without the door opening from the outside. Did they have no choice but to sit here and deal with it? To let other people rule their lives for however much longer they had? Peeta didn't want to go out like this. He didn't want to be this... stranger for the rest of his life.

Once his tray of food was empty, he stood up again, feeling restless as he began to pace back and forth aimlessly. There was still a dull throb against his wrists where she had bandaged them but it was a nice, itchy feeling that helped keep his mind focused.

Sitting back against the wall, she watched him pace.

How long has they been down here? One meal, one session of sleeping. No more than 24 hours then. And already they had gone through a lot.

And how long would they be down here now?

Should she keep pushing? Or let him be?If they could separate, this would be easier. But now?

She started to hum softly, picking at the cuffs of her sleeve.

Peeta slowed down in his pacing when he heard Katniss' voice, something inside of him warming. Although he was nearly across the room again he stopped in place, closing his eyes. The melodic tune of her voice was so familiar and brought back feelings he could not quite place in his current state, wrapped up in everything ugly that had been forced into his mind.

But this wasn't...

She didn't notice the change at first. The humming was meditative, grounding, and it took a moment for her to realize he was caught in it to.

Slowly, cautiously, she began to actually sing. Nothing with words, just a slow, soft melody.

Her voice was nice and familiar. The dull throb in his wrists could even be ignored right now, despite the pain being something he relied on. She knew what to do without even realizing it.

His eyes were still shut as he listened, breathing calming. He could probably fall asleep to the sound of her voice but, well, he was standing.

He'd just stay like this for now, fingers relaxing, his entire body relaxing.

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That icon is like the most interesting peeta in the world.

...life ruiner, that is what you are

bwa ha.

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wow I never realized I forgot to tag this :|

there is the other one too bb <3

I tagged that :<

my computer must just be being a butthole and eating tags.

:(

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