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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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Would he have really done something like that? Being hijacked or not, he knew the Capitol was the enemy to people like Katniss, someone he was apparently close to once. He had been a tribute too. He'd seen what the Games were like...

Before he could fall too far deep into his mind, Katniss touched his cheek, eyes snapping back up and onto hers. Her hand felt so warm and welcoming, a reminder of things he had forgotten.

Maybe she was telling the truth after all.

"Never?" He repeats. "Even with the whole... shower thing?"

"Uh, well, I mean...."

Did that count? Katniss hadn't counted it but they had been naked and...close. Really close.

And there had been the beach as well. In a way that had been less, they wouldn't put on a show...but in another way it had been more.

"Not close enough to...create a baby. Close but not that close." She finally said softly.

Create a baby. A thought that sent her own mind reeling. She could never bring a child into this world, and the though made something deep inside her lock up. Something that could never even be wanted, because it was too dangerous a thought.

"Ah..." He couldn't say he was disappointed. He was too young and messed up to be a father, let alone one with someone he wasn't sure he could trust. Their world wasn't a place for kids right now. Maybe in the future... when he was better.

And if she'd actually lost a real baby... he wasn't sure how he'd feel about that either right now.

"Is it bad to say I'm kinda relieved?"

She snorted.

"No. I don't know if I ever want to have kids. Not while..." Not while there were the games. But now there was a possibility there might not be.

A real future, not just a future of scraping to get by.

"Anyway, we're not ready for kids yet."

"You think?" He teased just slightly, eyes looking down the moment he realized he had. It felt so natural yet wrong at the same time to talk like this with her, to be intimate and joke around, to be anything but hateful.

She wanted him to not pull away, but she wasn't sure what to do. Joking around, although it was easier, or had been, with him wasn't her forte.

"I'm going to be a terrible mother, I need you to balance me out."

Except that didn't sound joking, it sounded...raw. And not at all how she meant it too.

She caught his attention with that statement, though his eyes were still glued to her knee instead of returning her gaze. You'd be great, a part of him wanted to say, but he wasn't sure the rest of him believed it wholeheartedly.

"You... protect the people you care about. I'm sure if you had kids you'd take care of them too."

Besides, he felt too far gone to ever be able to help her balance things out. Her faith in him was... overwhelming.

It wasn't so much faith in him as her unwillingness, perhaps even inability to really deal with Peeta being this changed. He was what he was, and her mind wasn't willing to make room for these changes. When they were undeniable, then she just flipped a switch to him being... different.

But she couldn't believe he would not get better. Because if he couldn't, she had no hope.

"No one would hurt them." She finally agreed softly.

Maybe one day there would be a world in which it was possible for Katniss to want kids. Peeta hadn't thought much about his future since his name was called for his first reaping, positive that he wouldn't be coming back home alive, yet here he was. Even in this state, he was still breathing. If he did have children he would want to do it... right. He'd want to raise them with love.

The thought was turning around in his head now and he felt an odd emotion of sorrow hit him, face screwing up as he looked away toward the darkness again so she couldn't see. He felt so weak like this.

Katniss knew this conversation had gone way off track. If it had ever had a good track to be on in the first place.

Unsure how to make things right (because Peeta was the one good at that, not her) she kneeled, moving forward awkwardly. Thinking of all the times in the train, when words would offer any comfort. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, slowly, cautiously. Ready to move back if this was not wanted.

"Sorry-" He couldn't help but choke out a little, clearing his throat and failing to sound anything but weak. He tensed up when she first touched him but like before, he eased into it, letting her for whatever reason. He was growing soft the more time they spent together like this and if that had not been Coin's intention then her plan had certainly failed. He eventually leaned his body into her slightly, eyes closing.

Silently she eased his head into the crook of her shoulder, soothing her hand over his blond curls. There wasn't anything to be said right now, at least nothing Katniss could ever form into words, and so she just held him, kneeling before him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." She finally murmured.

His hands were chained together so he couldn't exactly wrap them back around her like this, instead curling his fingers into the fabric on her knee. He absolutely hated how he found comfort in this. He hated it so much.

"It's weird thinking of stuff like that. Family... kids."

"I know what you mean." She let out a harsh little laugh into his hair. "I'm..."

Sorry she didn't mean to bring up such a sensitive subject. But that didn't seem right to say, somehow.

"We'll figure it out when we get there."

"'When'? Not 'if'?" He prodded lightly, a finger lightly drawing an X on her knee for no reason.

Was he teasing her?

She shivered a little at the patterns his finger was making on her knee, swallowing heavily.

"Well...we'll have to figure things out eventually." That seemed noncommittal enough.

"Yeah..." he breathed out with a small, bitter chuckle, the X turning into a wide circle. "First we have to get out of this damn room."

"Well, they have to let us out sometime."

She shifted, sinking down a little so they could be face to face again. But not pulling away. And not moving her knee. At all.

They were really close and he wasn't having a panic attack. That was good at least. It was one of those serene moments in his mind he'd have sometimes when he spoke with Haymitch or when he was frosting that cake. It felt like this.

He kept drawing slow circles, smaller and smaller only to increase in size again; rinse and repeat, not saying another word but just staying relaxed like this.

It tickled a little, but she didn't want to break the contact, not for a moment. So she just leaned into him, watching his hand move, and trying not to wiggle or twitch too much.

She knew how patterns, repetition, that sort of thing could focus your mind. And besides the tickling, it felt nice.

He was starting to feel a bit tired from how relaxed this was, and the dim lighting of the room didn't help either, nor did her body heat. His eyes began to droop a little, finger slowing down though he struggled to stay awake, even as his head gently rested against her shoulder.

It took a moment for her to realize why he was becoming so heavy. When she did, she leaned back a bit, trying to ease him down.

"Do you want to sleep?"

He shakes his head, unsure if They were doing something to him again or it was just his body and mind truly exhausted.

"No but I feel tired..."

"I don't think we need to be anywhere any time soon."

It was teasing, but she was worried a bit. How long had they been down here? And they hadn't gotten any food yet.

They wouldn't just leave them down here, right?

"Mm..." he hummed, voice trailing off. His eyes were still fighting to stay open but it was a losing battle and even the cold floor was welcoming right now, though he refused to curl up anywhere else but beside her. "I don't want... to wake up and... forget this."