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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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He was already picking at the bread - almost judging it - when she stopped and said that. Confused, he stared at her expression, his mind unable to put two and two together as quickly as it could have before being hijacked.

"What, why do you say that?"

"Because this is recreating the came. They have us together, unsure...it's small, it's dim, we have nothing but each other. And when we behave?"

She held up her fork.

"I'm surprised were not getting notes to kiss." She said, anger building up, not thinking about that being a delicate subjet.

The cave... The cave. He remembered the cave. It was when he was at his lowest in the first Games and Katniss took care of him. He remembered snippets of conversation, of food, warmth, of restful nights because she was with him. And kisses. There had been many of those too, hadn't there?

"It... It really is similar," he frowned, eying their food suspiciously, suddenly wondering if they had put anything into it to weaken them further. He put the bread back down on the tray for now, refusing to eat it. "No one said we have to behave though."

"You can't not eat."

They only gave them enough food here to get buy. You couldn't exactly be a picky eater.

And she didn't trust herself not to eat his food if he didn't. Lord knows she'd stolen enough of Gale's.

"How do you intend to misbehave?" She eyed his foot, warily, wondering if he thought that was a good tactic.

"I can manage," he replied stubbornly, though he could admit that having it right there in front of him was making it more tempting. Not now though. He didn't trust it. He didn't trust much of anything.

He folded his arms against his chest, wrists pulling at the cuffs and grinding into them a bit out of comfort, a bad habit he'd formed recently. Maybe if he did something drastic they'd pay attention and let them go. He'd thought about so many ways to get out of his head and body lately... the need to end this nightmare growing more and more each day.

Katniss wouldn't kill him though, he knew that much now. But she would definitely defend herself if he attacked her. Would that work? Or would they know it was a plan...

God damn it.

"I'll figure out a way," he said darkly, wrists still grinding against the metal until the skin was raw and red.

Edited 2012-07-14 05:34 (UTC)

"If this food is all right for me, will you eat yours?"

The idea of him not eating worried her. A lot. Would a hunger strike get them out of here? Was that what he was planning?

Noticing the movement of his hands, she set down her fork and reached out. "You're hurting yourself."

Food was precious and he knew it, he'd never let it go to waste when he knew the feeling of true hunger, but he would much rather smell his freedom than stale bread right now.

"If you can trust it," he frowned. "I don't know why you would though, even if Haymitch is behind all this. President Coin isn't someone I'd stick my neck out in front of."

When she reached for his hands he tried to avoid them, curling his arms closer to himself. "It's fine, I... It helps me."

"Because they're be much easier ways to kill us."

And because she was hungry. Too much of her life was paranoid, and she wasn't going to add food to that list. Not right now.

Still, she stared at his poor wrist. Bloody and torn up, and she wanted to sooth them, take him to her mother, have them healed up. It wasn't nearly the worst things she had ever seen, not even on him, and she had no idea why it tore her up so much inside to see it. Why it triggered such a want to...fix it. To fix him.

He frowned at her words, wondering if she was right. Still, he wasn't about to take the first bite right now.

"Fine... If you're not dead in two minutes, maybe it'll be safe enough."

Well, that was one way to go about it. And she was starving, if he wanted to wait till his food was cold, he could do that. For her part, she'd learned thing in 13 were best eaten as quickly as possible.

"So clearly us not killing each other is not good enough to get us out of here."

He probably would have been the first to dive in if he wasn't hijacked, just to make sure he'd be the one to get poisoned before her, but things were different now. He wasn't quite at that self-sacrificing level yet.

At her comment his eyes darkened, looking down at the chains in his hands. "Then why haven't we tried doing that?"

"Wait, tried to kill each other?"

She felt like the answer to that was fairly obvious. But then again, maybe she shouldn't be assuming anything with him right now.

"If not doing that wasn't helping, maybe if we fought they'd separate us. Let us go."

Huh.

It was a good thought. But if they fake fought and Peeta snapped...and they didn't come to separate them...

She moved closer, in case they were being over heard.

"Could you keep yourself in check?"

Could he? He wasn't 100% sure himself but it was his idea. He had to wonder how real or not they could make it seem because if his mind took over again... the whole thing could shift to being very real.

"I can try," he murmured in return, fingers twitching slightly. "If I go overboard just... kick me where it hurts, I won't blame you."

There he was teasing out of the blue again, surprising himself at the same time.

The idea was a good one. The best they had, at least. And she was so focused on the idea she started nodding before realizing he was teasing. It startle a laugh out of her.

"Ok."

...except she would. If he got too rough.

There was a twitch of a smile that lasted only a moment... before his eyes narrowed and he gave a sudden "angry" cry, throwing himself on top of her.

Oh, apparently they were doing this now?

She dropped her fork, trying to scoot back until Peeta's weight landed on her. The air was knocked out of her as they went rolling on the ground, and she had to stop herself from lashing out at him to hard.

This was a show. That's all it was. She couldn't hurt him, not for real.

He didn't want to waste time. If they could get out now, it would be better than later. Though it really was a shame not to eat... sorry Katniss.

"I'm not letting them keep me in here forever because of you!" He was pretty convincing in his voice, always able to lie when he needed to. His hands had once again found their way around her throat but they weren't choking her, just resting there... though he did his best to make it seem like he was.

Do it, you're so close... You could do it right now.

That stupid voice in his head made his face twitch with anger and he growled again, trying to will it away. "I'm not going to die in here!"

The fingers wrapping around her neck caused every muscle in her body to tense up. Forcing down the urge to retaliate, to kick him hard and struggle away from him, she looked up at him with wide grey eyes,hands coming up to lock around his wrist.

But the hands around her throat didn't tighten. Didn't cut into her windpipe.

She meet his eyes, and had to keep a smile off her face, because this, weirdly, made her feel more at ease with him than anything else.

But laying her smiling didn't make for a good fight. She started twisting and bucking her body under him, letting out strangled sounds.

There was a surprisingly difficult struggle surging through his mind as soon as he decided to hold onto her like this, between squeezing as tight as he could again or continuing with the act. His body was shaking but he refused to let anger win again. He hated that feeling and Katniss had been so kind to him last night, so understanding...

When she struggled it came as a nice distraction, placing his weight further on her though it was a struggle of his own with the flailing about. His eyes were as cold as could be, glaring at her like when he first saw her again after being hijacked, and maybe a part of him still wanted to feel that numbing hatred... Somewhere.

Trying to buck him off of her wasn't getting her very far. He was bigger, stronger, and his presence was starting to overwhelm all of her sentence. That look in his eyes...she knew this was fake, had to keep reminding herself this was fake, but God she wanted this not to be happening.

You are Katniss Everdeen. This is a ploy to get out of here. Peeta isn't attacking you for real.

Bringing her hands up against his shoulder she hit them, trying to make it look harder than it was.

Peeta wondered how long they could pull this off until someone actually did something. Haymitch wasn't an idiot, he might have known they'd plan something like this together, but he'd take that risk. Killing Katniss would be too easy right now... and maybe their mentor knew that.

Still, it didn't stop him from continuing, his hands shaking from suppressed rage and confusion, thumbs threatening to press against her windpipe again but they merely brushed over it. The look on her face seemed too real and a guilty emotion spread through him, threatening to make him cry but he held back, maintaining that glare and constantly yelling out fearful cries of You won't win, you can't keep me here.

Yet still no one came.

The trembled in his hands, the look on his face...this wasn't a good idea. And right now, she had not way to get him to stop. Peeta's strength was something she never had a chance against.

So right now she just had to trust him.

Not the easiest feat. But she kept up her side of the acts, trying to get her feet under her, get some leverage against the floor, and get him off of her.

The sudden change in leverage genuinely surprised him which was probably best considering what they were trying to achieve. Katniss was a hunter and a fighter herself, so it was no surprise when she was able to force him off, Peeta tumbling over with a hard thud on his back, panting. He didn't stop though, trying to scramble up quickly to reach her again.

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look at all the tags I'm ignoring <3

<333 "recreating the came" made me laugh, ngl

...opps. Calm your boner dude.

it's your fault okay

Are you saying I cause boners, peeta.

...... yes, yes I am

psh.

:3

>3

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