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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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That annoying voice was back again, telling him to comfort her, hold her hands or wrap his arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay, that he'd get better. But he didn't listen. He knew the moment he tried Katniss would use that weakness as an advantage and hurt him in some way, perhaps even kill him. No, he'd just... stay here for now.

His wrists subtly pressed against the hard metal of his cuffs again, the action soothing him. He was listening to every word she said but he couldn't help notice the way she was saying it, so different than before.

"You're... scared."

She shrugged.

"I have trust issues."

It was the simplest answer. The truest. She didn't want to make him feel... uncomfortable, upset but...she had promised not to lie.

"I'm not going to kill you," he said simply, meant to be comforting yet it just came out strange, didn't it? "That will just give them more reason to kill me off too."

You'd be better off dead, Peeta.

Weirdly, that cool logic of that made her feel safer than relying on his fickle mental temperature towards her.

"That...is actual a good call." She loosened up, looking up at him. "And, uh...just in case you didn't know, I won't be killing you any time soon."

Maybe if she looked hard enough, she could see the tiniest twitch of a smile at that.

"Good... to know."

Possibly, there was a curl at the edge of her lips too.

"Same."

And here they were. Close together, trapped in a dark place. And really, compared to before, this was a far more hopeful situation. Put in that context...Katniss felt a bit silly being so jumpy.

The darkness was something Peeta did not appreciate. It further skewed their sense of time and alertness, both of which were important to him.

"I wonder how much longer we'll have to be in here." We bonded a bit and played nice, I'm not yelling anymore, isn't that what you want?

"Do you think they're even watching? Or do you think they just tossed us in here and were going to come see who was still here in the morning?"

She scowled, still not sure if she trusted 13's motives behind this.

Really, he wouldn't put it past them to have done just what she suggested. Even though the people of 13 had taken them in, it didn't mean they were to be trusted in the least bit. President Coin made even Peeta feel uneasy, especially in his hijacked state. It was too organized down here. Too... cold. A part of him missed the fresh air of the outdoors in District 12. He missed the mundane routine of baking, even if it was with his mother. He missed the feelings he had when they let him decorate the wedding cake. Warm. Like home.

He missed feeling.

When he glanced around the dark room and saw nothing but betrayal, the bitterness inside of him only grew. Katniss was the only warm thing here, albeit faint.

"I really wouldn't trust them not to, Katniss." A slight twitch of his hands when he said her name. "I bet they're not even letting Haymitch watch over us."

For some reason, even thought the thought hadn't occurred to her before, it made her feel...anxious. Without thinking, she leaned towards him.

"I'm not planning on it. Trusting them."

The movement was so natural he didn't react at first, too preoccupied with what they were discussing.

"They rely on you though... You're her... symbol."

Even though he was the way he was, he still heard things. And Haymitch helped more than he cared to admit.

"And I'd be an even better martyr. Do you know how much it would give them for their damn propos if they could report that," She put on a fake voice, "The Capitol brain washed her lover and he brutally murdered her, look what they did to their beautiful love story."

She sighed, looking down and trying to push away how true and disgusting that made her feel.

"You have no idea how much those people out there care about us. About our story. I had people crying when they found out I 'lost the baby'."

He looked a little confused for a moment. Baby?

"You were... pregnant?" His voice caught a bit at his throat, slight panic as memories became jumbled and he couldn't quite piece them together. "I... We... A-A baby?!"

... If only he could smooth out the details on his own. This was certainly traumatizing.

What? Oh...oh god.

She moved forward, reaching out to grab his shoulders as she would her mother, trying to focus him. How could she have said something so stupid? She wasn't even thinking...her heart dropped at the thought of what must be running through his head.

"No, Peeta no...I wasn't pregnant. There wasn't really a baby."

Just the thought of having a child with this - mutt, traitor, lover, friend, enemy - person... The feelings he had at the thought were pulling him in so many different directions he wasn't sure what voice to listen to.

But then she touched him and spoke firmly, eyes on him, and all he could do was listen. The urge to flinch and push away was severe but he kept himself grounded, not wanting to seem even more weak.

"But- But you just said..."

And then to have lost it? How...

"It was a lie you told to the Capitol. To..." Stir rebellion? Make them miserable? Both? "All of the Tribute, all of us were trying to get in our last....last jab at the Capitol for making us go back in. And you were twisting the knife deeper in the tragedy of the star crossed lovers..."

Reaching up, she caught his cheek, keep her grey eyes on him.

"It was brilliant. You were brilliant. But it wasn't true. We've never...got that close before."

Would he have really done something like that? Being hijacked or not, he knew the Capitol was the enemy to people like Katniss, someone he was apparently close to once. He had been a tribute too. He'd seen what the Games were like...

Before he could fall too far deep into his mind, Katniss touched his cheek, eyes snapping back up and onto hers. Her hand felt so warm and welcoming, a reminder of things he had forgotten.

Maybe she was telling the truth after all.

"Never?" He repeats. "Even with the whole... shower thing?"

"Uh, well, I mean...."

Did that count? Katniss hadn't counted it but they had been naked and...close. Really close.

And there had been the beach as well. In a way that had been less, they wouldn't put on a show...but in another way it had been more.

"Not close enough to...create a baby. Close but not that close." She finally said softly.

Create a baby. A thought that sent her own mind reeling. She could never bring a child into this world, and the though made something deep inside her lock up. Something that could never even be wanted, because it was too dangerous a thought.

"Ah..." He couldn't say he was disappointed. He was too young and messed up to be a father, let alone one with someone he wasn't sure he could trust. Their world wasn't a place for kids right now. Maybe in the future... when he was better.

And if she'd actually lost a real baby... he wasn't sure how he'd feel about that either right now.

"Is it bad to say I'm kinda relieved?"

She snorted.

"No. I don't know if I ever want to have kids. Not while..." Not while there were the games. But now there was a possibility there might not be.

A real future, not just a future of scraping to get by.

"Anyway, we're not ready for kids yet."

"You think?" He teased just slightly, eyes looking down the moment he realized he had. It felt so natural yet wrong at the same time to talk like this with her, to be intimate and joke around, to be anything but hateful.

She wanted him to not pull away, but she wasn't sure what to do. Joking around, although it was easier, or had been, with him wasn't her forte.

"I'm going to be a terrible mother, I need you to balance me out."

Except that didn't sound joking, it sounded...raw. And not at all how she meant it too.

She caught his attention with that statement, though his eyes were still glued to her knee instead of returning her gaze. You'd be great, a part of him wanted to say, but he wasn't sure the rest of him believed it wholeheartedly.

"You... protect the people you care about. I'm sure if you had kids you'd take care of them too."

Besides, he felt too far gone to ever be able to help her balance things out. Her faith in him was... overwhelming.

It wasn't so much faith in him as her unwillingness, perhaps even inability to really deal with Peeta being this changed. He was what he was, and her mind wasn't willing to make room for these changes. When they were undeniable, then she just flipped a switch to him being... different.

But she couldn't believe he would not get better. Because if he couldn't, she had no hope.

"No one would hurt them." She finally agreed softly.

Maybe one day there would be a world in which it was possible for Katniss to want kids. Peeta hadn't thought much about his future since his name was called for his first reaping, positive that he wouldn't be coming back home alive, yet here he was. Even in this state, he was still breathing. If he did have children he would want to do it... right. He'd want to raise them with love.

The thought was turning around in his head now and he felt an odd emotion of sorrow hit him, face screwing up as he looked away toward the darkness again so she couldn't see. He felt so weak like this.