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Underground. He hated it. The walls felt too cold and the ceilings too low, the air too stale and the people around him too... confusing. He had no idea who to trust or if he could ever trust anyone again but himself - though even then he doubted himself. There were days when kindness challenged the tumbling mess of memories in his mind full of nightmares and images he was unable to separate from fantasy or reality.

He had lashed out at Katniss more times than he could count and although the shackles strapped to his body at night helped him stay in bed, they did not help him sleep in peace. Why was he even here? Why had they saved him? Especially her... She had looked so happy to see him yet all he could think about was the pain and suffering she had caused so many people.

The violent thoughts had calmed somewhat after the wedding, but they would still poke at his mind every now and then, tempting him. He still trusted no one.

Yet here he was now, guarded constantly and chained, but able to walk out of his room at least. He was headed down a corridor out of the wing that held the hospital rooms, not sure where he was going really... just anywhere that had better air. The guard following close behind was a constant reminder of his current state of mind, though a part of him was whispering that it was probably best like this.

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Katniss, on the other hand, was just glad they were making any talk, small or not. She didn't know if her heart could handle the mixture of fear and joy pounding through it right now.

"Yeah. You couldn't even tell you didn't have everything. I mean, I assume you didn't...they don't have anything here."

"I should probably keep it a secret, just in case..."

He was teasing, but that simple act of friendliness was already starting to make his head pound. It was with that comment that images forced into his mind flashed across his eyes and his temple began to throb, making him wince and press his palms against his forehead. You're not supposed to be chatting her up, you're supposed to hate her.

Before she could think about it, she took a step back. And the guard took a step forward. And that quickly Peeta went from tentative friend back to taunt enemy.

She felt guilt crash over her, but the movement was already made. She'd put self preservation above everything else.

"Peeta..."

"I'm fine!" He snapped, hands balling into fists before they fell to his sides again, still bound.

He could sense the guard about to suggest they leave, the movement made by Katniss not going unnoticed. The conflicting feelings and sudden headache were more than enough to further his frustration, doing everything he could not to physically lash out.

"I know you're fine." She lied, keeping her voice pitched low, soft. And moving forward again, even though everything in her said to do the exact opposite.

It was like trying to approach a wounded animal. Except usually Katniss just shot those. And that flippant though sent cold finger down her spine.

Because really, it wasn't much of a line between that, and snow putting Peeta down. That thought gave her the courage to move closer.

His hands were still balled up tight, fingernails digging into his palms painfully but he wouldn't stop. At least he knew that pain was real.

Why was she approaching him still, even after he was clearly not okay?

He licked his lips quickly and eyes moved side to side skittishly, anxious. He had been doing too well for it to last, and the soft tone of her voice felt deceiving.

"Don't. You're not... You can't help me."

"I can't abandon you, either. Not," Her voice faltered, but she held her ground. "Not after all we've been through together."

Her own hands clenched into balls, as she realized she was shaking. And fighting herself. But not going. Not leaving him.

"I won't do that."

All we've been through together. There were so many memories he had forgotten, not knowing what exactly she was referring to. You mean when you killed my family? All of those victims in District 12? The destructive, shiny thoughts were taking over again and his brows furrowed, shaking his head.

"If this is some kind of plan to get on my good side and betray me later, it isn't going to work. I know how you play these games."

The whole cake bit, chatting him up... of course it wasn't genuine. It couldn't be.

There was a crack, a crumpling of her face before she managed to catch it. Before she let all of that show on her face, open and for Peeta and the guard to see.

Still, this was too much, and her bravery had shattered, and her head hurt, and she couldn't find enough way to tell him he was wrong.Or the right way. The way that would unlock everything and give her her Peeta back.

"No...no, it's not."

Brilliant argument there.

His breathing had become slightly more labored and his head was pounding to the point of disorientation. He felt like he was going to faint any minute. The kindness in her voice, the concern, all of it was too much. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

Before he could speak another word, the guard had a grip on his arm and was trying to take him back to his room. Clearly this was building up into too much to happen in public between the two of them. Coin wouldn't approve, especially if he launched himself at their precious Mockingjay again. Peeta hardly struggled, though his hardened gaze remained on Katniss, flickering between hate and confusion.

It took everything she had to stand her ground. Following wasn't an option.

So she watched them drag him away again. Unsure whether she had done him and good or...just made things worse.

She had a feeling it was the latter.

((Bed now, but we can skip to the next scene tomorrow ish? Also ha ha I was like "Screw game tags I am tagging katniss and peeta only aaaall night
"))

He didn't look away from her until his vision grew blurry and out of focus from the onslaught of headaches. He had to close his eyes as the guard took him all the way back to his room. So much for a bit of freedom.

[[aiodhasiodha *blushing~* ♥ I also figured Coin would want her to talk to him in a more contained area after that, thus somehow forcing them together again. Or wherever the flow takes us fff.]]

Katniss had no idea what this "special" training was, but she hadn't enjoyed the glint in Coin's eyes when she was assigning it.

It was way too familiar for comfort. First time Coin had reminded her of a snake.

The soldiers lead her down. Way down. Down where her prep team had been kept, at least, maybe deeper. A wall, what she thought was a wall, suddenly opened before them into a dark, large area. Before she could open her mouth to ask anything, she was shoved forward, stumbling to her knees, and the door hiss closed behind her.

"What the hell..." She looked up, eyes trying to adjust to the dim light after the stark white of the hallway.

Peeta had been here for at least an hour already, completely alone. The darkness and eerie silence had left him shaking and curled up in a ball against a wall, memories of being tortured surfacing in small snippets. His hands were still in cuffs yet the guards who brought him here had done nothing else to bind him, simply telling him to wait.

Like he could do anything else.

His palms were pressed to his eyes when the wall opened and the brightest light he had not seen for a full hour shone inside the room. It was gone in a second though and he immediately recognized the voice of the person who now joined him. Why her?

"You..." he breathed out lowly, looking up at her from his place against the far wall. "Why are you here?"

Edited 2012-06-06 17:25 (UTC)

Oh.

Well, this was exactly the best plan of action ever. What the hell kind of training was this suppose to be? Peeta wanted to kill her, she wanted...well, she didn't know what she wanted.

But it wasn't this.

Scooting back against the wall, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to adjust to the dim light, and keep calm, and hope Peeta was calm enough that this 10 seconds of adjusting wouldn't get her killed.

"Peeta." She swallowed, trying to keep down her heart rate, keep calm. "I...I don't know why I'm here."

He began to stand, using the wall as support as he slid up it on his side, eyes forever trained on her. He fluctuated between trusting her and not just as much as she did at this point.

"Was it Coin? She put me here without explanation."

"Yeah. Yeah, she said it was for special training."

She opened her eyes, and they adjusted to the low, yellow light. And Katniss felt her stomach drop, her heart start racing. It had nothing to do with Peeta.

The low ceiling, the warm, weak yellow light, the darkness trailing away and filling up corners. And they were so deep underground. And she suddenly knew she was going to die here, buried in the earth and the dark just like her father.

Her breathing was coming rapidly, and she knew she needed to calm down, she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't grab on to anything. She certainly couldn't grab on to Peeta.

The presence of another person - despite it being her - actually calmed Peeta down moreso than when he was alone. Even though he hardly trusted her, at least he knew the darkness held something else living and breathing. Breathing rather hard, actually...

He frowned to himself, still keeping his distance as he watched her, and some part buried deep inside forced him to hesitantly ask: "Are you okay?"

"I don't like...don't like being underground."

Still, the sound of Peeta's voice helped ground her. They weren't in a mine. She knew how structurally sound District 13 was. It has stood up to a bombing, it wasn't going to suddenly collapse around her ears. Taking deep breaths, she sorted through her mind, focusing on all the difference between this and a mine. Well made, cool air, smooth walls, a room, there was a whole facility right outside the door. A facility full of their loved ones who would noticed if they just vanished. No mining equipment. No miners. No canaries.

She lowered her hands, looking up towards him.

"I'm...ok. I'm ok."

He didn't want to admit to the slight relief that washed over him knowing that Katniss was okay. He wasn't supposed to be relieved. He was supposed to have taken advantage of the critical moment when she was disoriented and snapped her neck when he had the chance...

He had to close his eyes at that. A dull throb had started on the left sight of his temple.

"Think they left us here to kill each other off?" He asked yet had a feeling that was what was expected of them. Somehow.

Her stomach sank as he said that.

Because as soon as he said it, she was fairly certain that was exactly it. Coin got rid of the Mockingjay, and what a propo "Capitol twist star-crossed lover into murder/suicide" would make. She didn't think anyone would doubt the story that she had sought Peeta out...he lost control...

"...I think they did."

The slow realization made him laugh a bit under his breath, though the sound was hardly genuinely amused.

"Like our own little Games right in this room."

Though he didn't make a step toward her yet, eyes remaining glued onto her figure across the room.

"Well I'm not playing."

If things were different, she'd go sit next to him. Hold his hand. Lean against him and listen to his heart beat. The one sound in the world that seemed to calm her down.

Instead they sat on opposite sides of this room, wound tight, staring at each other.

Peeta's eyes narrowed suspiciously at her response. Although he knew they had held normal, non-violent conversations before, he had convinced himself that those moments were all a set up by her to get him to like her. That wouldn't happen.

Even though... Even though some memories of her weren't shiny.

"And what if I do? Not going to defend yourself?"

She went very quite, her mind of a roof top, centuries ago.

Peeta, saying he'd kill, but he wouldn't let them change him.

Change him. The thing he didn't want, more than not dying. And this is what they'd done to him. Changed every bit of them.

And she was suddenly exhausted, worn down with how unfair it all way. Overwhelmed.

Finally she managed a shrug.

"...maybe."

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That icon was ridiculously inappropriate

I lol'd hard, not gonna lie. I don't have any appropriate ones myself fff.

she is like "Dude get OUT!" all valley girl.

I can never unsee this now

bwa ha

sobs

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~a few days later.

Re: ~a few days later.

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