(no subject)

[inciting]

The fight or flight instinct still hadn't slipped out of Katniss's damaged mind.

She knew, factually they were in District 13. Even though they didn't even know it exsisted up until a few days ago.

Well, some of them.

Her family was here. Peeta was here. Gale was here. Katniss? She was pretty sure half the time she was actually still back in the arena. She had nightmares, she'd always had nightmares, but none has seemed to follow her into reality quite the same way.

Today was one of those days. She was completely still, breathing heavy, staring at the door, certain that what was going to come through wasn't going to be some District 13 medic. Sure the empty room was about to fill up with Capitol peacekeepers, or...worse. There was always worse.

Comments

[bakersson]

"Then we'll just have to keep doing it, won't we?" He said with a grin, completely content with that fact. "It really helps me too. You calm down the nightmares."

[inciting]

The soft laugh became a big grin, as she laid her hand on his chest.

"I have no plans to do anything differently."

And clearly no one higher up objected to this either, since they were given a room together without asking.

[bakersson]

That brought up something he'd been thinking of in the back of his mind, something that hadn't been as important as any current events until now when they were finally truly alone.

"So this doesn't bother you away from pretending anymore?" He wanted to be sure. They had held each other more times than he could remember, kissed, held hands, embraced, but he was never sure how comfortable Katniss really was with it all when they weren't obligated to behave like this. When they weren't lying about marriage and babies or acting so unlike themselves.

oh katniss. those words you just...can't find to express your feelings for Peeta. Oh those words.

[inciting]

She shrugged, trying to find the words to express what she needed.

"This...isn't fake." Was what she finally settled on. "All of that was for...other people. This is for us."

Their own little world. It was the only place without all this pressure. Without the whole world trying to push them.

you'll figure them out one day... one day...

[bakersson]

Peeta smiled. "I can work with that."

[inciting]

"Well, that's good..." She looked up, teasing. A little. Because this was their own little world, and if they could leave this awful day like this, it wouldn't be so bad.

[bakersson]

He laughed lightly in return, fingers idly playing with the ends of her hair.

"You're... my whole world now. I still want to just spend every possible moment with you and only you."

Not that it was possible with the reality of the world's current status. But he could dream about it.

[inciting]

"I can't imagine we wouldn't eventually get on each other nerves." She said with a soft chuckle, relaxing back into the crook of his arm.

Still. It wasn't the worst though. Her mind drifted back, to her and Haymitch's discussion. On how for being forced into marriage she'd still made out fairly well.

[bakersson]

"I think that's normal to happen," he says with a smile up at the ceiling, feeling so much more at ease like this. It was so easy to forget what was going on out there when they were in their little world. "But it would take a lot for you to get on my nerves."

[inciting]

"That's pretty easy to say now. You just wait."

Her eyes had adjusted to the scan light, and she traced the patterns of the ceiling panels.

What would life had been like if they had been left to their own devices?

"...do you think you would have ever come and talked to me? If we hadn't been reaped?"

[bakersson]

Well that was an interesting question. He had to think about it for a long moment. "Maybe. Eventually." A pause then. "But it would have been something really lame. I wouldn't have impressed you at all."

[inciting]

She chuckled.

"I'm not...that hard to impress you know." She glanced up at him again. "You could have just like...brought me cookies. Or something."

[bakersson]

A blond eyebrow rose up at that. "So I could have just easily baked some sugar cookies with 'I ♥ U' frosted on them? Damn..." He couldn't help but tease, despite the serious question. To even imagine them getting close any other way without the Games felt odd. They never would have been as tightly knit as they are now, he was sure of it, even though the circumstances weren't all that great.

[inciting]

"Eh, maybe not that..." She laughed again, trying to imagine that. Maybe he was right. Maybe they had needed this to knit them together.

"I can't...I don't want to but I think a lot about...what ifs."

[bakersson]

"I do too sometimes." Another pause as he considered her question on a deeper level. Without the reaping, who knew how long it would have taken for either of them to speak on a personal level? And with her close relationship to Gale, he was positive they would have ended up together somehow. They still could. This war was only starting and what if he ended up...

Ah. Thinking about the outside again.

"It would have been really easy to just be the boy who gave you bread forever. But I'd always have wanted something else... wished to have at least said something to you, even if it was as lame as the... weather or something like that."

[inciting]

"Really? I never would have guessed."

She was just straight up teasing him now. Still, the idea that Peeta was there, watching out for her...that that wasn't just some random act...it did comfort her.

[bakersson]

"Hey..." He chuckles though, glad they're even able to tease and relax with each other. It was hard to think just days ago they were fighting to stay alive in the arena.

"What about you though? Would you have ever approached me?"

[inciting]

She stopped herself from pointing out she barely knew who he was before hand. Partially because that just seemed like the kind of things you didn't say. And also...

also, it wasn't true. It was something she had said, and thought, but Peeta was someone who had been in the back of her mind a lot.

"I always wanted to pay you back. Somehow."

[bakersson]

"Even though things turned out the way they have, I don't really regret it." The pain, the struggle, both in the arenas and out were just... how their lives came to be and he could accept that. It didn't make reality hurt any less, but he had a feeling there was a reason they were a part of this mess. There had to be. "As long as we can stay like this."

[inciting]

She didn't know how it was so easy for Peeta to say things like that. It use to make her uncomfortable, but now she wondered if it was because she wasn't sure how she felt, or because she was jealous of how sure he felt.

"No one can stop us."

[bakersson]

He can't help but smile at that, drawing her even closer and leaving another affectionate kiss to her temple.

"Exactly. We got out of the hospital pretty far together, didn't we?" A small chuckle. "That's saying something."

[inciting]

"Oh, yeah, that was our greatest success." She rolled her eyes, letting out a huff.

Granted, there were bigger things than her bruised pride. But she still wasn't thrilled with Haymitch.

[bakersson]

He just laughed more at her comment, feeling more carefree tonight than he had in days. For a second he actually forgot about the horrible news he had just gotten.

"Come on, even you have to admit we probably looked hilarious sneaking around in our underwear."

[inciting]

She tried not to smile. And failed, finally laughing against his shoulder.

"We had to look like idiots."

[bakersson]

The laughter was becoming difficult to control, covering his eyes with one of his hands the more he thought about it.

"It... seemed like a good plan at the time!"