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The fight or flight instinct still hadn't slipped out of Katniss's damaged mind.

She knew, factually they were in District 13. Even though they didn't even know it exsisted up until a few days ago.

Well, some of them.

Her family was here. Peeta was here. Gale was here. Katniss? She was pretty sure half the time she was actually still back in the arena. She had nightmares, she'd always had nightmares, but none has seemed to follow her into reality quite the same way.

Today was one of those days. She was completely still, breathing heavy, staring at the door, certain that what was going to come through wasn't going to be some District 13 medic. Sure the empty room was about to fill up with Capitol peacekeepers, or...worse. There was always worse.

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Johanna. Katniss felt her stomach drop as that little bit of reality hit her hard.

What if it was Johanna? What if it had been her? Or Peeta? Her hand grabbed his, holding it tightly.

"I'm sure we can bring it up."

He laced his fingers with hers, strong and secure, before heading out at last. He wasn't exactly sure where anything was but the hospital at this point, but there were more than enough guards and signs around to get them headed toward breakfast. If his grumbling stomach had anything to say, it definitely wanted to head there.

Edited 2012-07-18 23:48 (UTC)

Now that they weren't fugitives escaping into the night and could take the time to look around, the place was really quite easy to find ones way around. Everything was laid out precisely, logically, and without any feeling that a human had any effect on it at all.

It was disconcerting.

But soon enough they were to the mess hall, a steady hum of chatter pulling them forward.

There were many watchful eyes, a few stares, but eventually people lost interest and continued with their meals. Peeta was looking around for any sign of familiar faces, though at the same time being encouraged by his stomach toward the line to get their food.

"More people than I thought."

Katniss saw a few, more than Peeta, she was sure. She gave them nods and smiles, but didn't want to draw attention to how many of her people were here, how few of his.

"I don't think this is even everyone. I think they do lunch in shifts."

It was difficult to ignore the pitying looks he was receiving, enough to make him physically uncomfortable. He had to look away for good, knowing why and he honestly didn't want to deal with that right now. He just clung to Katniss' hand tighter.

"Makes you wonder just how big this place is," he murmured almost absently, walking up to the end of the line.

"I have a feeling we're going to find out." Katniss held tight, and was relieved when out of nowhere Delly suddenly appeared next to them inline, chatting excitedly.

She was about the most neutral person on earth. And someone from town. Which hopefully would be better for Peeta.

Seeing Delly came as a surprise at first, but one that made Peeta feel relieved. She was someone he recognized and was on friendly terms with since childhood, despite not being the closest of friends. He fell into easy conversation with her, asking if she and her family were all right, if she knew anything about what was going to happen now... but of course she didn't. He supposed he and Katniss would find out in this meeting to come.

He never let go of Katniss' hand though, finding a grounding sense of comfort in it.

It wasn't a conversation Katniss felt very connected to. Delly, and Peeta for that matter, had been part of their own social clique at school. Where as Katniss had been part of...well, none really. Unless you counted her and Madge sitting silently together.

Madge. Oh...

"Delly! Delly, do you know if the Undersee family..."

She trailed off as Delly's face crumpled a bit. It was answer enough.

Peeta looked between them at Katniss' question, knowing why she was asking. Madge. Even his stomach sunk at seeing the look on Delly's face, one he was sure they would be familiar with from many people.

"None of them...?" He asked hesitantly, though she shook her head and looked down.

This was what being the sign of the rebellion meant. Your friends died, your family dies, your people died, just for knowing you.

Her hand gripped Peeta's tightly as she nodded, trying to process Delly's answer. Or maybe tuck it away to process later. When the two of them were alone again.

Before she could speak again they were at the front of the line and being shuffled forward to get their share of less than appetizing looking food.

"You should have had some before Greasy Sae got into the kitchen." Delly whisper conspiratorially.

Peeta took a few glances at Katniss every now and then, knowing exactly how she was feeling. He could imagine her pain was worse too, possibly blaming herself for all this to begin with. He wished there was a way he could convince her that this rebellion was a long time coming, but that conversation would be saved for later. There was too much to focus on now of varying importance.

The best he could do was not let go, though at Delly's whisper he had to wonder what exactly she meant. The food didn't exactly look like the most gourmet meal in the world, but anything would do for now.

"As long as it's hot."

Katniss was baiting back and old prejudice about town kids being more picky about food until she actually saw the food.

Than she was very thankful for Sae.

Delly lead them back to a table, and Katniss sat close to Peeta, pushing at the food with her fork before hunger took over and the taste didn't really matter.

The tension in this room was ridiculously noticeable and he had to wonder if it had been like this all morning or just because Katniss was here now. He was wary of the whispers and sadness, of the guilty feeling even hitting Peeta square in the chest.

As they ate, he enjoyed the distraction of chatting with Delly and getting some more information on what had been going on and how she and the other people left of 12 were coping. One of his hands slid beneath the table to give Katniss' leg a light, reassuring squeeze.

It wasn't until he squeeze her that she realized how tense her whole body was. She felt the eyes on them, the heavy emotions lacing the air, and it made her feel so small.

The squeeze snapped her back to reality. She smiled over at him, before pulling herself up and finishing off her meal.

What had happened, what was going to happen was awful. But it wasn't on their shoulders alone.

It would be okay. Even though they were in this growing rebellion at least they were together. That had always been reassuring to Peeta and so long as he was by Katniss' side, he would be confident with all of this.

He smiled in return to hers, glad she seemed to be holding up well so far. His eyes continued to scan the room and people who came and went just in case he caught sight of someone they wanted to talk to, eating slowly.

"At least we know we'll be getting meals, even if they're at set times."

"Yeah, that's a good thing."

And not just them. Katniss saw faces she knew, faces she was use to being dirty and gaunt. They might not exactly be sparkling Capitol fashionistas~~thank god~~, but they were clean, well feed...and something else. Something was gone from their faces.

It wasn't that they were happy. There was still too much hurt, too much war. But there was hope now. Real hope. Not the Capitol's manufactured hope.

"Maybe this was worth it..." She said softly, so only he could hear.

Her words made Peeta smile. Having a positive perspective on everything was probably the best thing they could do right now to keep them sane, and if Katniss could manage it as well then he knew they had a chance of being all right.

Lives had been lost, countless people had suffered, but it wasn't the end.

"I'm with you."

The meal went fast. Once people realized who they were and that they were there, safe, and approachable, they had people coming bye, saying hello, offering support and condolencenses.

Soon enough it was time to report for their meeting.

It was kind of nice to see so many people from 12 safe here. Although the circumstances of them even being here were awful and heartbreaking, and every sympathetic and kind word sent his way only felt like a new stab to the heart, Peeta was just glad there were still people alive. They weren't hopeless. So he just smiled and thanked them, shared some kind words of his own, before he checked the time and was almost thankful for the excuse to get away from the crowd.

"We should get going," he tugged on Katniss' hand lightly.

She nodded, gathering up their dishes and heading to set them where they would be washed.

"Do you think we'll find it?"

As if too answer her question, a pair of soldiers appeared, nodding to them. They were quickly lead back to the room from yesterday, although it was much less densely populated than it had been before.

"Guess so..." He was relieved at the escort to be honest. If they were late for a meeting like this, they could have missed something important. Then again, Peeta had a feeling the meeting wouldn't have started without their Mockingjay in the first place.

There were some familiar faces again in the room, including Gale. Still not letting go of Katniss' hand, he immediately went to sit beside the other boy, nodding to him in a silent greeting. The air in the room was stiff and tense.

Katniss was surprised, but grateful that Peeta zeroed in on Gale. She still wanted to pick the others brain, but having him so close helped. They had a silent language, and she knew Gale would do his best to clue her in. Hopefully she could pass it on to Peeta.

This meeting was long. Intense. A lot of it, she could tell, was review for their benefits but...however long they had been out of the loop had been long enough for the festering misery of Panem to break into war. Simple and at the same time deeply complicated.

They were shown images that Peeta wished he could burn from his memory yet at the same time knew that was the worst thing to do. Things like this were important to know and keep in mind when they too were out there, doing whatever they could to aid this rebellion and hopefully stop the war before it reached its worst. That was his wishful thinking anyway. With the look on Coin's face as she spoke... he knew that was the last thing on her mind; to stop the this before there were more casualties.

By the end of it, he felt emotionally exhausted yet determined at the same time. They were in this. Deeply. And they could actually make a difference if they tried. Coin had been clear that Katniss and Peeta were important in the process of this rebellion, especially Katniss representing their mockingjay or... whatever it had been they'd mentioned. So much had been said.

Her hand had locked around Peeta's half way through the meeting, and didn't let go until it was done. Now that it was, that people were filling out of the room, she sat there feeling...numb. Drained.

Gale was called over to talk to Coin, with many glances in their direction.

"She's using him to maneuver us." Katniss said softly.

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yep. big old butthole.

/kicks it

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If we need a gale I might pop my gale in here btw.