string_theory | Katniss and Madge, District 13.

Katniss and Madge, District 13.

She still wasn't settled here.

She probably would never be settled here, even if she lived here till the day she died. The air it's self weighed her down. And the feeling of people looking at her, the things they expected. She was going to drown under all of it, she was fairly certain.

At least she had made deals. For the safety of those in the Capitol. And for her sanity, being able to get up out of this hole. A big, fancy hole, yes, but just another hole in the ground. She hated coming back down here after hunting, but there wasn't really another choice.

Pushing around her food in the cafeteria, she was at least glad they could bring a little flavor into this, too. The stew today had some of the game they'd caught, and was better for it. Last night had been full of nightmares, and even knowing how much she needed this meal, she was having trouble making it go down.

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Madge came into the mess hall very shortly after Katniss had sat down. She was silent as she sat down across from her. It was almost a little like things had been back home, the way they would just quietly join one another.

It was a little bit of comfort to her in a world where she felt alone and isolated, even though she wasn't sure that he offered anything to Katniss that had meaning.

Katniss looked up, glad for the familiar face. There were disturbingly few around her, and many of them were, fairly, stand offish from her. She tended to stick to her family, and the Hawthorne's...but Madge was a nice break from things.

"Hey." She said softly, lifting her fork in greeting.

"Hi," Madge said with a small, friendly smile reaching her lips. She never really knew what to say to Katniss now. Before they hadn't been much for talking, but now Madge felt like she should at least attempt conversation.

"What's your schedule like today?"

Katniss glanced at her arm.

"I have training after this."

She scowled. Not at the training it's self, but at the intense structure of their schedules.

"You?"

"School," Madge replied. While she had more education than most in District 12 she didn't have a lot of skills that District 13 thought useful. Music wasn't something they valued as much as Madge would have liked. If there had ever had a piano here it had been salvaged for its parts. She had to go to vocational school then, to learn how to be a cog in the every day machine of this District.

She hated it. Even more because so many of the boys looked at her hungrily for the new DNA that she could bring to their stock. That was one of the reasons she looked so dull and frumpy today. She was trying to be as unappealing as possible.

Unfortunately, sitting with Katniss ruined that image a bit. Any girl who was friends with the Mockingjay might have influence in the new world. That turned her into a trophy for those eager to break out of their place in the social structure of the District, those who wanted to move up a level.

She didn't want to think about any of that though. Not with Katniss in front of her. Slowly, she reached out and touched her friend's arm. She wanted to offer some physical touch that didn't come with it demands that Katniss be something she wasn't.

"How's training going?"

Katniss started slightly at the tough, before smiling at the touch. As Madge suspected, a lot of the touch here had felt manipulative. Guiding her, pushing her, convincing her. Only Prim seemed to give affection without strings attached.

But Katniss also couldn't see Madge pulling those strings.

"Well enough. I just can't..." She shrugged, glancing around. Not sure how deeply 13 monitored them. Not really sure if she cared at this point. But she knew Coin's good grace could save Peeta, save the others. It was better to not push it, and she shrugged, letting her sentence hang.

Madge took her hand away. "I'm sorry, Katniss. If I had known how much trouble that pin would give you, I would have kept it."

She knew that the pin didn't actually have to do with anything. It was just a symbol, but she still felt a little bit of guilt.

Katniss shook her head.

"I'm glad I had it."

It was strange how much that pin meant to anyone...well, anyone outside of this table. A little symbol, grown much bigger than them. A powerful token.

Did anyone besides them know it was the pin's second turn in the arena? Had it been painful for her mother to see? Did Haymitch recognize it? The questions had occurred to Katniss, but they were wounds best left alone. Old and as healed as they would get.

She smiled at that despite herself and looked down into her food. "This has gotten much better since you started to hunt," he said as she poked at some meat with her fork. "I'm sorry I can't help you with that."

She looked up at Katniss with a small smile. They both knew how useless she had been at hunting.

Katniss returned the smile.

Maybe they should have talked more this whole time.

"I think having actual food in it helps."

"Definitely. I wish we could have some strawberries, but I guess it would be impossible to find enough for everyone here," she said it quietly. It wasn't just wanting such a luxurious item, but strawberries reminded her of her father.

Her grief was a new thing to her. She hadn't learned to wear it well yet and it creased the corners of her mouth.

Katniss saw it, a felt sympathy well up. So many of those from 12 had that new weight on their shoulders, and Katniss was lucky her family had survived. The survivors guilt would be potent enough, but she also felt the guilt no one would really say, the guilt that this was her fault entirely.

She wanted to do something, but had nothing to offer right now.

"Maybe...we can find some."

She would smuggle them if necessary.

"That would be nice," Madge said with a small smile. "Do you think they've had strawberries here before?" She looked around at the people who were natives to District 13.

Katniss shook her head. Even if they had, they would have been grown here-tasteless and dull. She doubted anyone would have gone up to gather them, and if they had, that they would have made them down to the masses.

"I don't think they'd know what to do with them."

She was suddenly homesick, for strawberries, black berried, the fruits of the forest. Even the apples that grew right outside the fence. Had grown there, at least.

Madge had gotten herself into a dark place as well, thinking about the day that Katniss had volunteered. She and Gale had come to her home before and had given her strawberries for her father. She frowned deeply into her food and then after a long moment.

"I'm sorry," she said, just for the sake of pretending she wasn't in a dark place. "There's a reason we never talked much back home. I'm afraid I'm not very good at it."

A quick smile twisted up Katniss's lip as she poked at her food, brief but real.

"We can practice with each other."

Peeta was the one good at talking. She tried not to let it show on her face the sudden twist of anxiety that gave her.

Edited 2013-03-07 05:01 (UTC)

"Ah, good. I could use all of the practice I can get. The people here aren't as easy to scare off as the ones back home."

That got more than a smile out of her.

"Yeah, they're..."She glanced around to make sure they didn't have any spies. "They're pretty hard to uhh...effect."

"You have a lot of responsibility, and I don't envy you that at all," she said carefully, not wanting Katniss to think that the next comment was anything other than a joke. She didn't want her only real friend to think she was discrediting everything he had to deal with, "But I am I little jealous that none of them are after mixing your DNA with theirs."

Katniss's problems with boys was far more complicated than being seen as breeding stock with new DNA codes to bring into the culture of the District.

It took Katniss a moment to process that, before she chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, can't say I mind that benefit."

None of these people were trying to get her DNA. Luckily. She didn't think that would go well for either of them.

"How has everything else been?" she asked, knowing that Katniss couldn't share too much but wanting to give her a safe space to talk if she wanted to. Talking had never been a part of their friendship though, so Madge would always be willing to offer silence as well. Sometimes silence was what you needed.

She shrugged, and seemed to be taking Madge up on the silence side of things, before she suddenly spoke up.

"Are they pushing you to fight?"

She shook her head. "They want me to contribute, but they know I'm no solider. I think I'm going to be cleaning uniforms instead, or something else like that. Something that helps the effort but keeps me out of the firefight."

She nodded.

The fighting...Katniss was still so torn on it. She was exhausted, and she just wanted everything to be done. For Peeta to be home, for 12 to be there.

"It's better."

"I wish I could help you more," she admitted. She usually wasn't so open with her own feelings and thoughts, but it seemed so true to her. Back home, there had been things she knew how to do. She knew to pay Katniss for the things she brought, to be medicine was Gale was hurt, to give Katniss the pin. Now, she was at a total loss.

She shrugged, trying to figure out how to say that this actually was helping. There was no one Katniss felt comfortable talking to. Gale had his own agenda. Prim...she didn't want Prim in this. Johanna...no.

"You do."

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Katniss and Madge, District 13.

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