string_theory | Life, Love And Playing Games

Life, Love And Playing Games

[Her stylists managed to corner her long enough to gloss her over and shove her into a pretty little blue and green dress, but the air here in the Capitol is so much thinner and cooler than she's used to that she's shivering despite the warm evening. She's sitting along on the steps of the Training Center, staring at the sky.]

I hate this place.

[There are people around. She isn't talking to any of them in particular. But she isn't worried about them overhearing her. Just a crazy girl talking to herself....]

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I don't think you're alone in that.

[Elias sank down on the step next to her, looking over the people rushing about in front of the training center, a mob of technicolor.

His stylist got him into a silk button down and black slacks, knowing Elias wasn't exactly going to go for anything over the top. His district didn't exactly have what anyone would call good stylist, but at least they tended to let him do his own thing, now.]

[She is a mix of startled at his presence and curious. Annie gives him a small, nervous smile and a laugh that might sound a bit forced, but she gives it with the best of intentions. She doesn't recognize this man, but that doesn't exactly mean anything where Annie is concerned. She's not very good with faces.]

No. Probably not.

[Her eyes search over him again. He's too old to be a tribute. Too... normal looking to be anyone from the Capitol. She purses her lips together in thought and tries to recall his face again.

She can't.]

Where are you from?

[He gives her a soft smile, though his gaze stays on the people before. They have meet a few times, but he's heard she isn't all here. Everyone has. She wasn't a common face to see in the capitol.]

District 10.

[He offered her his hand, finally twisting towards her.]

Oh.

[She sounds almost confused at his answer, if not a little sad as she tries to remember District 10. She'd been there once, technically, but she'd pretty sure she remembers nothing about it. Cows, she thinks. Grass and green and maybe some hills. She feels a little guilty that she doesn't remember what it was like.]

District 4.

[She takes his hand. It's larger than hers. Warmer. Rougher. Stronger. She wonders for only half a second how many people he's killed with those warm hands, but won't let the thought fully form.]

[Dangerous territory; that. No. Don't think about that.]

[Better to think about something else. Talk about something else, now that he is here and looking at her. She isn't sure what he wants, and maybe she doesn't really want to. Or maybe he is just being nice. It's usually one or the other...]

Does the sky look the same in District 10 as it does here? In District 4, you can see much more of it. But still... some of the stars at the same.

[He leaned back as he drops her small hand, considering the sky for a moment, before shaking his head.]

In district 10, the sky is...it's much bigger. Huge, actually. There aren't so many mountain to get in the way.

[He gave her another warm smile. She reminded him of a child, her movements and speech patterns.]

Yeah. Not so many lights, either.

[She smiles at him as she agrees.]

Or people.

[Her eyes flicker to the wave of candy-coloured strangers nearby. She is clearly not pleased about the amount of people. Capitol citizens, or otherwise. In fact, it's the huge amount of non-Capitol citizens that truly bothers her, but she isn't sure if she should say anything about it.]

[Why so many?]

Also a benefit of being away from the city.

[He follows her gaze back to the people. He knows why they are here, and wishes he didn't. Thought this bloodshed would be full of strangers to them, they weren't strangers to someone.

He wished he knew what the Capitol was up to.]

You must miss the ocean here.

[Annie nods in response.]

I do. I- I always miss the ocean. I feel... lost when I can't see the water.

[She knew how she must sound. Sad, little mad girl. But it wasn't a lie. None of it was. Back home, around people who did not know her, she had to play it up. Crazy. Lost. Confused. But at home, she felt better. Less lost. Less afraid. Here? Madness was catching.]

What do you miss?

The sky. The open space. District 10 is big, you could ride for days and not hit the edge of it.

[He paused, tipping his head up, before glancing over at her again. Trying to find a way for her to relate to it. What he had seen of district 4 was very different.]

There is no ocean, not really. But there are in places fields so wide and open there are like the ocean.

[She understood large, vast, unending places. At home, it was the sky and the sea. She could imagine a place, not of water but of grass that smelled of green things growing, not of salt and air. It sounded... nice.]

Will you go back when this is over?

[She raises one hand and covers the moon with her thumb, as if to make sure it's the same size. It seems so much smaller here... farther away.]

If I can.

[His eyes go from her to the moon, taking a moment to realize what she is doing. She seems to be more calm, talking about things, than she was before.]

Being here is...stressful.

[Stressful is certainly a word for it. She nods as she agrees.]

Yes.

They told me, once, that I didn't have to come back. I'm....

[She catches herself, realizing just how much she is about to say to this stranger. The Capitol is a place where you are never supposed to tell your secrets. But he probably knows all this anyway. Everyone knows everyone's business here. She's just no good at keeping up; at playing the game. She's never been good at any of them, and its so frustrating that she wants to cry.]

I'm no good, you know.

Yeah, well, they say a lot of things.

[He knew that was a conversation better left there as well, and glanced over at her last comment.]

No good? You seem good enough to me.

[She laughs and shakes her head.]

That's nice of you to say. But it's true. I can't watch. The... the... the Games. I can't. I just... freeze up. Shut down. And...

[Her voice trails off and she stares hard at what little starlight is visible there in the Capitol's night sky.]

I wish I didn't. I know it's my job to help these kids. I'm supposed to be helping them survive...

I...

[He tried to find a way to say this without getting either of them in trouble. It showed more of the Capitol then on Annie's sanity that she was considered in the wrong for not being able to handle watching the slaughter of children.]

I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. It's a hard thing to watch.

[She shrugs; believes that he is just trying to be nice, which she appreciates to some extent.]

A hard thing to go through, too.

[She wishes she could remember who he was. A past victor. Not all that much older than Finnick she didn't think. District 10. Missing an eye. Surely that should ring some bells. But she can't remember the last time she was able to pay attention to anything related to the Games.]

Did you have many sponsors in your own game?

Yeah...yeah it is.

[He tried not to remember that, though. Glancing over, he shakes his head.]

Not many. But enough when it counted.

[He isn't sure if he should press her about anything, even particularly light subject, from her games. He remembers it well enough, anyway.]

I just... worry, you know? I'm supposed to... talk to them. Sponsors. Help my tributes. Give them what they need.

How can I, when I can't even watch?

I....

[She feels like crying. More out of frustration with herself than anything else right now. ]

Finnick told me not to worry about it. That he can handle it all. But he shouldn't have to....

[She instantly regrets even saying Finnick's name, and stops herself in the middle of her thought. She doesn't like talking to strangers about Finnick. It seems dangerous for reasons she can't quite put her finger on.]

[Elias chews all this over for a moment, looking again over the colorful, bustling people before them.]

So let him watch. Let him lead. Tell him you'll do the most you can, and that you trust him to call you for what's needed.

[She nods as though she agrees. She doesn't. Bust she doesn't know how to express how frustrating it is to feel so useless.]

I do trust him.

[She can say that much with flat, honest certainty at least.]

But, not to ask me for help. He does so much to protect me. Always tries to handle things on his own.

You think he'll try to do it all himself to protect you?

{Elias couldn't really blame him.]

[The smile she gives is soft, thoughtful. It is not hard to tell that her thoughts are of something dear. Precious. She knows she should probably try and hide that better.]

That's... how he is.

[He nodded. It made sense, with everything he had heard. Reaching out, he patted one of her hands gently.]

Maybe it's better that way?

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Life, Love And Playing Games

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